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Funny Love Quotes Him

Written By Nathen Bridgwater on Friday, July 12, 2013 | 11:05 AM

Funny Love Quotes Him Biography

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True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. -Erich Segal,
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question -Lily Tomlin
Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance. -Unknown
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. -Henry Youngman
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. -Mae West
Always marry the man of your age because if your beauty will fade so will his eye sight. -Unknown, funny love quote.
Don't fall for anyone, unless they are willing to catch you. -Unknown
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. -Albert Einstein
I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it. -Woody Allen
I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them. -Mae West, funny love quotes.
The bravest thing that men do is love women -Mort Sahl
One should always be in love. That is the reason why one should never marry. -Oscar Wilde
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. -Woody Allen
You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories. -Melanie Clark
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. -Groucho Marx
Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. -Josh Billings
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen
One is very crazy when in love. -Sigmund Freud
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell -Joan Crawford
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. -Samuel Johnson
You call it madness, but I call it love. -Don Byas
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. -Unknown
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What... does a woman want?" -Sigmund Freud
Never sign a Valentine with your own name. -Charles Dickens
Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to. -Alfred Montapert
Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life. -Unknown
I have great hopes that we shall greatly appreciate each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. -Lord Byron
It is impossible to love and be wise -Francis Bacon
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. -Albert Einstein
Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. -Cathy Carlyle
Love is being stupid together. -Paul Valery
Love is a grave mental disease -Plato
Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. -Christopher Marlowe
Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended. -Cher
Love is just like a card game; first kick out the jokers, then throw away hearts, keep the diamond and try to win the king. -Unknown
Love is a promise delivered already broken. -Steve Martin
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw -Fran Lebowitz
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. -Albert Einstein
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. -Winston Churchill
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. -Brendan Francis
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. -H. L. Mencken, funny love quotes.
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty. -Unknown
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one. -Mae West
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. -Melanie Griffith
Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one -Glenn Beck
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. -Pearl Bailey
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. -Unknown
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat. -Ben Hecht
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman -Oscar Wilde
But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down -Woody Allen
Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. -Unknown, funny love quotes.
I am not one of those who do not believe in love at first sight, but I believe in taking a second look. -H. Vincent funny love quotes.
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -Agatha Christie
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? -Bette Midler
Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. -Jonathon Swift
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species -W. Somerset Maugham
Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate -Sandra J. Dykes, funny love quotes.
The only people who make love all the time are liars -Louis Jordan
Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta Castorini: No.
Rose: Good. When you love them they drive you crazy because they know they can.

II.
Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta Castorini: Aw, ma, I love him awful.
Rose: Oh, God, that's too bad.
"I detest 'love lyrics.' I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on 'love lyrics." - Frank Zappa

"You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap." - Dolly Parton

"I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of." - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

"A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did." - Edgar Watson Howe

"I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's eighth husband on her wedding night: I know what I'm supposed to do...I just have to figure out a way to make it interesting." - many attributions

"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying." - unknown

"An old man who marries a young wife grows younger - but she grows older." - folk saying

"It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced." - Anonymous

"What female heart can despise gold?" - Thomas Gray

"A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: 'Love is what you've been through with somebody.'" - James Thurber

"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner

"The people people have for friends
Your common sense appall
But the people people marry
Are the queerest folk of all."
- Charlotte Perkins Gilman

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

"Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for." - Mae West

"The body, she says, is subject to the forces of gravity. But the soul is ruled by levity, pure." - Saul Bellow

"It does not matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you do not do it in the street and frighten the horses." - Mrs. Patrick Campbell

"A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it." - Don Fraser

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" - unknown

"There are three kinds of men who do not understand women: Young, old, and middle-aged." - Anonymous (and with good reason)

"Women like me because I make them laugh. And what is an orgasm, except laughter of the loins?" - Mickey Rooney

"There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it." - Lily Tomlin

"A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting." - Helen Rowland

Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him

Funny Love Quotes Him

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