Funny Jokes About Love BiographySource(google.com.pk)
My friend: Your dick is probaly like a tic tac
Me: No wonder your moms mouth is so fresh
Guy1: Your zipper is down.
Guy2: Ughh, your mom is so forgetful !
Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house
A couple is driving
Cop:Sir, you realize that you were speeding.
Husband:Im sorry officer, I didnt know.
Wife: What the hell, thats a lie Ive been telling you for miles!!
Husband:Shut up!! Shut the f*ck up!!No one is talking to you!!
Cop: Ok then, did you know that your license plate was expired?
Husband:No Officer, I didnt know.
Wife:NO!!! Ive been telling you for months!!
Husband:Shut the hell up BITCH nobody's talking to you!!!*cop walks over to the wife's side and says*
Cop: mam, does he always talk to you this way?
Wife:No. only when he's drunk.
Things I never learned in High School:
1) how to do taxes
2) anything to do with banking
3) how to do loans for college
4) how to buy a car / house
5) how to jump start a car
but I'm so glad I know the f*cking Pythagorean Theorem.
There was a white guy, a Mexican guy, and a black guy. All three of them bring something from their country that they have too much of. All three of them climb the Eiffel tower. The Mexican brings tacos and says, "We have to many of these in our country and throws the tacos off the Eiffel Tower". Next, the black guy brings weed and says, "We have to much of this in our country and throws them off the tower." Next, the white guy pushes the Mexican and the black guy off the Eiffel tower and says, "We have to many of those in our country."When I married Mr. Right, I didn't know his first name was "Always."
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
You might be a Redneck if ... You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
I pretend to work and they pretend to pay me.
Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell self-help books three to one.
Bertrand Russell said, "Even in civilized mankind, faint traces of monogamous instinct can be perceived."
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just two, but how they got in there beats me.
Dorothy Parker said, "She speaks six languages, and can't say no in any of them."
A woman had a crush on a guy. She wanted to see him so bad, she kept walking her dog back and forth, back and forth, in front of his house.
She did it so many times, she finally killed the tree.
The husband came home early one morning. He was getting undressed when his wife said, "Where are your shorts?"
The husband exclaimed, "My God, I've been robbed."
THE TOP COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG THIS WEEK - If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
Georgia ran around quite a bit while she was single.
When she got married, her friends threw wild rice.
My boyfriend wanted me to pose nude for him.
I told him, "No, I'm not a model."
He said, "That's okay, I'm not an artist either."
Gene Autry said, "Until I quit making movies,
most fans thought dance hall girls actually danced."
The swimsuit model said, "This gorgeous diamond I'm wearing is the Rabinowitz diamond. You know, all big jewels carry a curse with them. And the curse that goes with this diamond is Mr. Rabinowitz.