Really Funny Love Quotes

Really Funny Love Quotes Biography

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I have friends who are great joke-tellers. They time their lines perfectly. But, "joke delivery" was never my cup of tea. I excel in sharing cute funny quotes. And somehow, it seems to get my listeners' funny bone. You can also work on being a funny person by using some cute funny quotes. Start with this page of funny quotes.
Barry Goldwater
I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.
Roger Kahn
I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.
Robert Paul
My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.
Miguel de Unamuno
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.
Alexander Woollcott
All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
Ron Nesen
Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.
Jay Leno
Don't forget Mother's Day… or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Tom Snyder
If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?
Benjamin Franklin
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
Anonymous
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Confidence: wear it like make-up!
Stop planning your life, and let it plan itself. Quit trying to find the perfect boy & let him find you. If you dont want drama then dont talk ****. Things are only as complicated as you make them..
she was the kind of girl that never let the guys get the best of her, that didn’t fall in love easily, until that one guy came along
It’s not cause I don’t like you, it’s just that I’m scared of loving and losing
she’s not perfect, & neither is he
but together, they just might be
& most of all;
i’m scared of not being
good enough.
Believe me if all those endearing young charms,
Which I gaze on so fondly today,
Were to change by tomorrow and fleet in my arms,
Like fairy gifts fading away!
Thou wouldst still be adored, as this moment thou art,
Let thy loveliness fade as it will
And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart
Would entwine itself verdantly still.
It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,
And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear,
That the fervor and faith of a soul may be known,
To which time will but make thee more dear!
Oh the heart that has truly loved never forgets,
But as truly loves on to the close,
As the sunflower turns to her god when he sets
The same look which she turned when he rose!
Thomas Moore

Brief is life but love is long.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

But love is blind, and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that themselves commit.
William Shakespeare

By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth.
Bible - Song of SolomonTrue love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. -Erich Segal,
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question -Lily Tomlin
Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance. -Unknown
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. -Henry Youngman
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. -Mae West
Always marry the man of your age because if your beauty will fade so will his eye sight. -Unknown, funny love quote.
Don't fall for anyone, unless they are willing to catch you. -Unknown
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. -Albert Einstein
I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it. -Woody Allen
I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them. -Mae West, funny love quotes.
The bravest thing that men do is love women -Mort Sahl
One should always be in love. That is the reason why one should never marry. -Oscar Wilde
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. -Woody Allen
You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories. -Melanie Clark
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. -Groucho Marx
Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. -Josh Billings
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen
One is very crazy when in love. -Sigmund Freud
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell -Joan Crawford
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. -Samuel Johnson
You call it madness, but I call it love. -Don Byas
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. -Unknown
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What... does a woman want?" -Sigmund Freud
Never sign a Valentine with your own name. -Charles Dickens
Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to. -Alfred Montapert
Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life. -Unknown
I have great hopes that we shall greatly appreciate each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. -Lord Byron
It is impossible to love and be wise -Francis Bacon
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. -Albert Einstein
Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. -Cathy Carlyle
Love is being stupid together. -Paul Valery
Love is a grave mental disease -Plato
Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. -Christopher Marlowe
Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended. -Cher
Love is just like a card game; first kick out the jokers, then throw away hearts, keep the diamond and try to win the king. -Unknown
Love is a promise delivered already broken. -Steve Martin
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw -Fran Lebowitz
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. -Albert Einstein
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. -Winston Churchill
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. -Brendan Francis
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. -H. L. Mencken, funny love quotes.
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty. -Unknown
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one. -Mae West
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. -Melanie Griffith
Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one -Glenn Beck
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. -Pearl Bailey
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. -Unknown
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat. -Ben Hecht
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman -Oscar Wilde
But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down -Woody Allen
Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. -Unknown, funny love quotes.
I am not one of those who do not believe in love at first sight, but I believe in taking a second look. -H. Vincent funny love quotes.
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -Agatha Christie
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? -Bette Midler